Joia Farmer

Joia is heading back into the studio to record her third CD.  One of her songs was selected to be the theme song for this year at the National Catholic Youth Conference which will gather 20,000 high school students in Kansas City at the end of November.  She is heading back to the studio now to have the new CD in time for that event.  (Full details on the awesomeness that is Joia song being selected and the fact that she is getting to lead all those students in praise and worship here).

But she needs your help!

If you help Joia out you get something back. Some are small. Some are big. But everyone gets something. You can make the payment on-line or you can make the payment via check. If you are going to make a payment via check please contact Gene gene@monterastelli.com or 202 669 3408

Please read the full list, because you will laugh out loud.  (We promise!)

You will be the first to receive the new album with a personalized note of love and affection from Joia. You will receive download access to 3 of the songs right when they are done before the CD even goes to press. Not only will you get access to the music first, you can have the satisfaction of being part of the cool/in crowd by being ahead of the curve.

Donation: $15

Note: All donations of $15 or greater include an autographed copy of the CD

Have you ever read the liner notes of an album or CD and thought, “I wish someday someone would thank me by name for my support.” Or maybe you have thought, “Wouldn’t it be cool if someone else was reading my name in liner notes of a CD wondering who I was.” Well this is your chance to be thanked by name for your love and support. (You can even have someone else thanked for your donation.)

Donation: $60

Note: All donation of $60 and over will recieve thanks by name in the liner notes

Joia is not the only artistic member of the Farmer family. Brad and Joia’s three kids are accomplished artists as well. You will receive one piece of art from each of the Farmer kids representing each of their distinctive styles. Each piece is suitable for framing. They can be displayed individually or as a group. When people see these pieces of art hanging on the wall of your home or office they will think they are standing in one of the great museums of Europe.

Donation: $100

We know that you know that Joia is an amazing musician. You might even know she is a great cook. But there is more to Joia than just these creative talents. Most people are unaware of the fact that Joia is also a champion Indian Leg Wrestle (known in some parts as “Indigenous Peoples Lower Appendage Strength and Balance Competitions”). Most people never get the chance to compete with a true champion. You are never going to get to play golf with Tiger Woods, play basketball with Michael Jordon, or football with Payton Manning.

In this once in a lifetime opportunity you can be on the playing field with true greatness. In addition to receiving one-on-one instruction from a true master you can experience what it is like to meet a true master on the field of competition. This is an experience with greatness that you will be telling your grandkids about for decades to come.

Donation: $125

Twitter is one of the most powerful communication mediums of our generation (or at least of this week). It has been used to communicate important news, aide in a revolution (see Iran), or communicate how frustrated you are at how long the line is at Starbucks.

Joia is no stranger to the Twitter. Joia’s followers hang on her every tweet. With a donation of $175 Joia will tweet complements about you everyday for an entire month. Not only will you see how much Joia loves you, but her many friends and followers will learn to love you as well.

Donation: $175

Tiered of the same old “Please leave your message at the tone” voice mail message. Joia will write and sing a personalized voice mail message. Your new voice mail
message will be so awesome that people will be disappointed when you pick up the phone because they didn’t get to hear the song.

Donation: $200

In November of 2001 Joia took the stage at NCYC looking like a true rock star. Not only was she rocking leather pants, she was rocking leather pants 8 months pregnant. Even at 8 months pregnant she was the coolest looking person in the room. For a donation of $275 Joia will serve as wardrobe consultant and make you over to pull out the rock star that lives inside of you.

Donation: $275

The hardest part of the day is getting the kids to sleep. For some reason, right as the day is coming to a close they decide to rev up. With this Joia will gently send your kids to dream land with sweet lullabies.

Donation: $350

There are lots of great charities out there that could use access to flights. With a donation of $400 Joia will donate 5000 miles to the charity of your choice.

Donation: $400

Through the ages one of the ways that we as people show love to one another is through the food we prepare. Food is used to sustain, nourish, and heal: all forms of expressing love. Joia is an awesome cook. With this Joia will work with you to craft the prefect menu. Joia will then do all the shopping and cook the meal for you and 5 of your guest. As each course is served it will also be accompanied by the appropriate song sung by Joia.

Donation: $650

Everyone should sing, but not everyone should sing into a microphone. As talented as Joia is Gene is just the opposite. Gene’s unique sense of melody makes you wonder if he is even singing the right song. With this you have the opportunity of never having to experience Gene sing again. Not only will you enjoy the peace of silence, your loved ones will thank you. As someone famous once said (it was either Jesus or Shakespeare), “Silence is golden!”

Donation: $800

People who are named Sarah, Donna, Layla, Roxanne, Billie Jean, Barbra Ann, Eleanor Rigby, Johnny B Good, Lola, Sister Kate, Michelle, Caroline, Maggie May, Little Susie, and Amadeus are so lucky because they have song sung about them. What about the rest of us? With this Joia will write and record in her home studio a song about you.

Donation: $1,500

Imagine what it would be like to sit back comfortably in your living room, surrounded by your friends and family while you serenaded by Joia. Loud concerts and large music hall are great, but sometimes you want to experience music in a more intimate setting. With this you will get a private concert in the comfort of your own home in which you will be able to choose the set list of songs Joia will sing.

Donation: $2,000

Are you like us, thinking more people need to hear Joia’s music? Here is your
opportunity to share Joia’s music with your parish or youth group. Not only will get a concert with Joia (in which you will help craft the song list) Joia will spend time hanging out with the young people of the church doing questions and answer before concert about life, music, and trying to live the Christian life.

Donation: $3,500

Have you ever wanted a tattoo but were too afraid to get it yourself? Gene will get the 1″x2″ tattoo for you. Would you like your name, your favorite quote, or Mr. Peanut? Gene will get it! There is no pain, no blood, and no regret that you are stuck with a poor choice for the rest of your life.

[Note: Tattoo will be done by one of the country's best tattoo artiest. Laura will consult directly with you in the creation of the artwork to make sure it meets your specification. You will also so receive a personalized DVD
recording of the tattoo process.]

Donation: $4,000

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I would love to eat nothing but ice-cream!” Or “I love cereal so much I could live on it.” Or wondered “How many snow cones could one person eat before they went crazy?” This is your chance to find out what the human body can endure. Gene will eat the food of your choice three meals a day for one week. He will also provide you with regular update so you understand what the body is capable of doing.

[Note: You must choose a real food and something that can be bought legally in the US.]

Donation: $4,000

Brad and Joia don’t know if they are going to be called to have more children, but if they do they will name their next child after you. This is your opportunity to be memorized in a unique way in which many never come along again.

Donation: $1,500,000

[Please contact Gene directly to donate at this amount. 202 669 3408]

OR

Is there a premium you would like to receive, but want to donate more?

Choose the amount you would like to donate here (don’t forget to list what premium you would like to receive)

Or contact Gene directly 202 669 3408

You Can Be Featured As A Musician On One Of The Songs On The CD

Do you feel like your musical talent isn’t appreciated by your loved ones? Are you disappointed that people don’t recognize that you are a master on the tambourine, cowbell, nose flute, or jaw harp? With this you can show your friends (and the world) your true talent. You will also be able to tell people for the rest of your life that you are professional recording artist and have the recording to prove it!

Donation: $6,000

Is there a song that you love, but feel it would be even better if Joia sang it? With you can choose a song for Joia to include on the new CD.

Donation: $8,000

Do you know the prefect name for this CD? Sure “Off The Wall”, “The White Album”, “Graceland”, “Sports”, and “Whenever You Need Somebody” are icon album titles, but you know you can do better. This is your opportunity to leave your mark on Catholic music by knowing your amazing idea will always be a part of Joia’s CD catalog for all time.

Donation: $15,000

[Please contact Gene directly to donate at this amount. 202 669 3408]